High school kids sitting on steps on their iPhones to represent products they have convinced their parents to buy for them.Creativity

How To Convince Your Parents To Say Yes To You

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As a kid you are probably trying to get your parents to say yes to you many times a day. How’s it working out for you? If you find it difficult to convince Mom and Dad of the things you want it is because you’ve never been taught how to do it right.

Recently, scientists in the field of social psychology have made startling insights into what really makes people say yes to us. Only a few of the top salespeople are aware of these findings. Mom and Dad probably don’t know about them either. And that’s what will make this even more successful for you.

You see, when people are not aware that someone is trying to get them to say yes, they let down their guard. And will feel as if they willingly made the decision. Your parents will not know that your effort and influence went into getting them to say yes to you. It works brilliantly this way.

Why Your Parents Appear Stubborn And Don’t Say Yes To You More Often

It’s frustrating to mostly get a no from your parents every time you ask them for something. There two main reasons why they say no:

Your parents love you and care about your well-being, but they think they are the experts when it comes to what’s good for you. When you ask them for something, it is an idea you are proposing. People are naturally biased towards ideas that are not their own. So, they look for reasons to say no, and turn you down.

Another reason is related to the way most of us ask for things. We do it directly and force our parents to reason with us. Psychologists have shown that when people are made to reason, they tend to argue and resist. This is a big reason why Mom and Dad default to saying no.

The Trick To Convincing Your Mom And Dad To Say Yes To You

People never make decisions based on their conscious reasoning. We do it based on our subconscious thoughts and feelings.

So the trick to convincing your parents to say yes is to ask indirectly. And to first get their subconscious minds altered in your favor so they are more likely to say yes to you. If you are dealing with particularly stubborn parents, this is the only way to persuade them.

We will go over this below in more detail so you find out how easy it is to use on your parents.

This is a powerful approach. Always be honest with your parents. There will still be some things that they say no to. You have to accept their decision knowing that they genuinely care for you. Using any of this deceptively will backfire on you.

1. First Do Something For Your Parents

This is one of the easiest ways to make your parents feel like wanting to do something for you even before you ask. Give them something first. It does not have to be physical. But it must be genuine and meaningful.

If you plan to ask your parents for a favor one evening, build some goodwill in the morning. If you see them rushing to get to work, offer to clean the dishes or walk the dog. Or just go up to them and thank them for something they did for you. Tell them it meant so much to you that you needed to hug them. You can even make them a special card.

The thing is that when people get a gift, they feel a subconscious desire to pay back the favor. So in the evening or the next day when you ask for something this will motivate them to say yes to you. Or at least it will get them to listen to your case and give it a better chance.

2. Make Them Compare Your Request To Something Even Bigger

Photo by supakitmod/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When people are unsure about a decision, they tend to look around them for clues and guidance. Often, that takes the form of a comparison to something that is fresh in their mind.

Say you ask your parents for something that costs $50. When they evaluate the item and cost, they have nothing to compare it to. They will likely turn you down saying it is too expensive.

Do this instead. First talk to them about any product that costs $500. Don’t say you want it. Just bring it up in conversation but make sure you mention the price. Then after some time, ask them for the $50 item you want.

Now when they think about the $50 price, they are forced to compare it to an amount of $500. They now view $50 as a smaller amount. This is called anchoring and it uses the contrast principle. You anchored your parents to a price of $500 making your $50 item seem cheap. Now they are more likely to say yes.

Advanced MBAs use this in sales and marketing all the time. If you learn the contrast principle and anchoring early, you will be one step ahead of most people the rest of your life. You’re welcome.

3. Convince Your Parents To Think Past The Sale

There is a useful way to make someone more likely to do something. Get them to think about what it would be like if they had already said yes to you.

Say you want your parents to get you a dog. Before making the request, you want to get them to think about what it might be like if your family already had a dog. You could say, “Dad, what kind of dog do you think would be good for our family given that given that no one is home most afternoons?” To answer this, he must imagine your family with a dog. The more your parents think about what it might be like to have a dog, the more likely they will be to say yes.

It’s called thinking past the sale. If a person spends time contemplating something, their mind will be more willing to accept it as a possible choice. This won’t always make your parents say yes, but it will tilt the odds of getting a yes in your favor.

4. Remind Them Of The Limited Time They Have With You

When you are trying to get anyone to say yes to you, it does not matter that much on what you say to them when you ask. It is all about what they feel and experience just before you make your request. That’s why most kids know not to ask when Mom or Dad are worked up or stressed.

But if you change how your parents feel, you can convince them to say yes to you even more.

Scarcity

People place a much higher value on something that is scarce or not going to be around for long. In your case, that something is you. Remind your parents how little time they have left with you. They will feel more fond of you and feel like giving you more stuff.

It is best to be indirect. Casually bring up the topic of where you are thinking of going to college. This will automatically remind them of the limited time they have with you. Whatever you ask them in the next few hours will meet less resistance.

5. Ask For Something Small First: Commitment And Consistency

There are times when your parents might consider giving you something but might be a little hesitant. In those cases, you can try a persuasion technique called commitment and consistency.

Here you want to first get your parents to agree to a smaller, but related item. When they get committed to the cause for something small, they will feel a need to be consistent with this choice for future situations as well.

Say you want them to get you a dog. That’s a big commitment for you and them. If you directly ask for a puppy, they may say no. So you first ask for a pet that is easy to look after. Fish or a guinea pig might work.

They now view themselves as parents who get their kids a pet. A few weeks or months later when you ask for a dog, they will feel an inner need to be consistent with their previous stand – that of parents that get their children pets – and they will find themselves more willing to take a bigger step with a dog.

If you are trying to get your parents to let you go out on a date, first ask them to let you go out with a bunch of your friends some evenings. When you build some trust with them and get back home on time, they will be used to the idea of you going out and being responsible. So, when they consider you going out with someone alone on a date, they will be more willing to say yes.

6. Make Your Parents Think The Idea Is Theirs

Your parents think they know best about what’s good for you. Sometimes that is true but not always. So, they might end up saying no to you mostly because the suggestion is coming from you and not them.

Before you pitch your idea to your Mom and Dad, get them to be a part of the plan itself. Even if they are involved in a small way, they will view it as coming jointly from the family. And not just some child’s idea.

This is the reason your parents like their IKEA or other furniture they have assembled. All of the hard work was done by IKEA. Your parents just put it together. But that is enough for them to rave about their IKEA furniture. Because they played a role in the final furniture, they come to like it more. And they will do the same if they feel the idea also came from them.

7. Admit To A Mistake You’ve Made Or Something You’ve Done Wrong

You will think this is worst thing to do just before you ask for something. But admitting to some mistake you have made in the past — without your parent’s finding out on their own — actually makes your parents trust you more. If they know you will come forward to them on your own if you make a mistake, they will be much less resistant to giving you things.

The biggest reason your parents may not let you out on a date, buy you a car or a phone, or some fancy new toy is because they may not fully trust you. And they want you to be safe and stay out of trouble. But if you find ways to let them know that you are honest with them, even when it hurts you, they will open all doors for you. Trust is the key to getting things. Do whatever you can to earn it.

Why This Works And Gets Your Parents To Say Yes To You More

Generally, your parents default to saying no to you. If you argue and cry, you might convince them once in a way. But if you work on their subconscious minds before you even ask them for something, they don’t realize your role in the convincing. They feel they have made the decision on their own and still feel in charge.

If people feel someone is actively getting them to do things, it bothers them and they start to say no. If you work below the radar you can preemptively remove reasons that they may say no to you. You trigger an automatic response in them to start saying yes to you much more.

Some Advice For Specific Requests To Your Parents

As you use the advice here keep in mind the most important thing — you should always be truthful. No making stuff up. Using any of this deceitfully will end up hurting you and the trust your parents have in you. Without trust, you will get little. No matter what psychological approach you try.

Your biggest lesson from this should be that to get things from your folks, you need to give first. Give them honesty, love, appreciation, and honor their requests to you. If you promise them something, keep your word. Just doing this will result in lots more coming to you from them. And usually will come without you even asking.

If they still say no to something, don’t throw a fit. Stay calm and accept the decision. They could be right this time. Save yourself for another day and some other request. If you make a big scene every time you are told no, they will feel justified to keep saying no to you.

Based on what we have learned above, here are some approaches to take for certain things you are asking your parents for.

How To Convince Your Parents To Buy You A New Phone Or Laptop

First get them to be a part of the plan before you ask for the new iPhone. If any of your schoolwork would be easier to do with this phone or laptop, make sure you let them know this.

Since convincing your parents for a new phone will mean getting them to spend a large sum of money, use the technique of anchoring described above. If you are trying to convince them to get you an expensive phone model, anchor them to an even higher priced item.

How To Get Your Parents To Say Yes To Buying You A Car

If you are old enough to drive and want your parents to get you a car, you are close to going off to college. Before you ask for a car, work on their emotional state. Remind them of the little time they have left with you. Work for a summer or two first. Show them that you are willing to bear some of the cost.

How To Convince Your Parents To Get You A Dog Or Pet

First get your mother and father to emotionally want a dog. If they had dogs when they were young, get them to tell you stories about their puppy. Ask them for old pictures of their dog. As they relive these memories, they will want the same for you and will be more willing to get you a dog.

If you need to convince your parents to get a dog if they did not have one growing up, then, try a bit of commitment and consistency. First get a small, easy-to-look-after pet. Show them you have what it takes to look after a small pet and they will be more likely to say yes to a dog.

How To Get Your Parents To Say Yes To Going On A Sleepover

For a sleepover, the main thing is trust for getting your parents to say yes. Keep your word and build trust for a long time. Admit to a mistake or two. Use commitment and consistency with them. Start small. First ask for playdates with this friend. Get Mom and Dad used to the idea of you hanging out with her or him.


Shaun Mendonsa, PhD is an influencing expert and pharmaceutical development leader. He writes on the topics of influence and persuasion, and develops next generation drugs in human pharma by advising international pharmaceutical CROs and CMOs. He can be reached at smendonsa@master-influencer.com.


KEYWORDS

How to get your parents to say yes to you, Convince your Mom and Dad of something, How to persuade your parents, Convincing a stubborn parent, Persuasion, Influencing, Anchoring, Contrast principle, Reciprocity, Loss aversion, Commitment and consistency, iPhone, Car, Dog, Sleepover

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133 replies »

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      That’s sad to hear. These techniques don’t guarantee success. They shift the odds in your favor.

    • IO DEVO CONVINCERE I MIEI GENITORI PER ESSERE UNA CANTANTE ED È IL MIO SOGNO DIVENTARE UNA CANTANTE .
      È COME SE TIPO TU VUOI FARE LA CANTANTE MA I TUOI GENITORI TI METTONO HA STUDIARE E FARE LA DENTISTA.
      PERFAVORE PUOI SUGGERIRMI COME CONVINCERE PRIMA LA MIA MAMMA E POI IL MIO PAPÀ PERFAVORE🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      Hope so too. Good luck.

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      Thanks for writing. You are already in a good place since you have the initial “yes.” What you need to focus on is motivating your Dad to act on his promise.

      So far, if he has agreed to buy the game verbally, try getting him to write his commitment in some form. Your Dad will be more likely to honor his written commitment than his verbal one. The next time he is away and sending a text is appropriate, try and get him to text back his agreement.

      Get him to commit to a specific time of the day.

      Have him “think past the sale” by talking about things you would do if you already had the game. Such as, “I’m really looking forward to this weekend. I’ll be able to play XYZ game with my friends.”

      Right now, his task is buying the game. And it is easy for him to postpone as he has no fondness for the game. Reframe his task to one of making his child happy and less about the game. “Dad, you’re going to make me so happy because this is an amazing game and everyone loves it.”

      If the game has a limited-time discount price, or is in limited supply, remind him of this so he is motivated to act quickly.

      • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
        Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

        It is frustrating when you feel you are ready for something and people think otherwise. Sometimes parents know best and we should trust them. Some things need a bit of time before you get them.

  1. Seriously? Great idea to help kids be master manipulators. That’s exactly what we need – more manipulative, selfish people in the world.

    Why not teach kids that their parents pretty much sacrifice their lives for their kids. If parents don’t think they can afford something or don’t want to get a dog, why not teach kids to be respectful and leave it alone instead of trick them?

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      Most adults are unable to persuade people around them (family and colleagues) successfully. The earlier this skill is taught to us, the better. As with similar powers like martial arts, they must be used ethically.

  2. Will this work because i need to go christmas shopping, and she always says maybe later and then i ask her again a couple days later and still the answer is no, and it’s getting so close to christmas!

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      It will surely help your odds of success. Try to get you Mom to commit to the day and time of the trip in writing (text).

      Get her to think that this is more about making you happy and less about the item. She will be more likely to get it for you if she realizes how it makes you feel.

      Have her think past the sale – Talk about the plans you have when you get this item. Let her visualize your joy.

  3. I’m trying to get my mom to let me go over my dad’s house for Christmas. I have no idea what to say and it’s like my mouth is sealed shut whenever I’m around her

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      Your best shot is “reciprocity.” Do something big for her (Step 1 above) so she feels like she owes you back a big favor in return. Then ask for the Christmas trip.

  4. Bro i go to walmart with my brother and friends, but i want to go to winco which is only a little bit farther away and i dont know how to ask my dad, any thoughts?

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      First do something for your Dad. Maybe give him a gift. Later that day time mention that you really like shopping at WinCo but have no one to take you.

  5. Are you crazy, do you know what this is doing to the kids?! My kids are already bad enough they don’t need to be using this to! Now I want this website down within 24 hours or im gonna find you and sue you got it?!

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      This is a tough one. Poshmark has age restrictions and minors are not allowed to use it. Your best bet is if your parents sell stuff for you.

      If that is an option, try getting them sold on the idea of making money on some of their unwanted stuff on Poshmark. If they see the benefit, they may help you sell your stuff too (commitment and consistency).

  6. I got an Echo Dot for my birthday but my dad doesn’t trust it. He thinks it over hears conversations and sells information. I need an internet passcode to set it up and he won’t give it to me because he thinks it isn’t safe. How do I convince him?

      • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
        Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

        I think your Dad is right, they do listen in and use your information for profit. But there are a few things you could try to get him to allow you to use it.

        1) Build his trust in you in other ways. Take on other areas of responsibility so he views you as trustworthy.

        2) Consistency. Ask him to let you use the Echo Dot while he is around for short periods. If he sees you using it responsibly, he could be more open to the idea of you using it later.

        3) Social proof. In subtle ways, make him aware of other kids your age who are using similar devices.

        In the end, your Dad knows best. You may have to trust his judgement on this.

      • READ CAREFULLY I think I can help if your still there #1 do you’r chores with no complain #2 have good grades #3 be good for a week sit them down it the living room and ask if it doesn’t go through don’t worry PLAN B READ CAREFULLY you can either be ok never get it or storm off do this at night refuse to eat say I’m not hungry then they should ask you why say I have good grades I do my chores I was nice what do I get out of this all I want is ———- hope it works I’ve told several people normally they had success

  7. Thanks! However, I need to say something. NEVER consider Guinea Pigs a good starter pet. They live a LONG time, need to be in pairs of groups, and are crazy expensive and underated if you give it good care. No pet should be viewed as a starter pet-try a Spider Plant.

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      If your Dad has promised he will do something for you but has not yet done so, here are some tips to help.

      1) Try and get your Dad to make the commitment to you again in writing. Text him about what you want and try to get him to reply back his promise. He will be more likely to keep his promise if he has written it out to you.

      2) Remind him of things that you (or he) would lose or miss out on if he does not keep the promise.

      3) Thank him of the things he has done for you in the past (and promises kept). He will be reminded that he has to live up to this reputation. And will be more likely to do more for you in the future.

  8. Hi, I thought the article was great but I have a question. So I’m turning 13 this year and I want to buy a pair of heels however, my parents have set a limit on heel height(1.5 in). My mom has let me wear her heels(4 in) that were even higher then the one’s I want that are 2.5 inches. I’ve asked them why not and they haven’t given me any reasons. What techniques do you think will persuade my parents the most?

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      Perhaps they are afraid of letting go of their small child and see heels as a sign you’re all grown up. Get them used to the idea that you will be around them for a lot longer. After school, if you plan on staying around at a nearby college, emphasize that.

      Can also try social proof. When appropriate, let them see as many of your friends who are wearing 2-3 in heels. No need to specifically mention the shoes/heels; let it be indirect like getting your friends to walk on hardwood floors.

      Let them know what you are missing out on (emotionally also) by not being able to wear the heels you want.

      When your Mom wears her 4 in heels, compliment her look (but don’t mention the shoes or heels). Maybe tell her she looks so much more confident or like a much younger person.

  9. My dad who I have him to the point to where he has trust in me and says “Maybe,” to buying a bunny but it has been a whole year, and still no bunny. What should I do?

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      To get your Dad to keep his previous commitment try getting him to write it down. An easy way is if you can get him to text back to you when he plans to get you a bunny. People are more likely to keep their word if they write it down.

      Remind your Dad of previous things he promised you and where he followed through. Give him a good reputation to live up to based on his previous behavior.

      Keep doing things that promote trust in you and demonstrate that you will look after/clean up for the bunny. Make sure you are doing chores around the house. At least your own room.

      Don’t just talk about positive aspects of having a bunny. Mention something that you are missing out on by not having a bunny. Possibly bring up the fun a bunny-owning friend of yours has shared with you.

      Importantly, give the bunny a name. It gets your Dad to think past the sale. When talking about the bunny, use this name frequently. Act as if the bunny is coming soon and start talking about the things you will do with it.

    • READ CAREFULLY I think I can help if your still there #1 do you’r chores with no complain #2 have good grades #3 be good for a week sit them down it the living room and ask if it doesn’t go through don’t worry PLAN B READ CAREFULLY you can either be ok never get it or storm off do this at night refuse to eat say I’m not hungry then they should ask you why say I have good grades I do my chores I was nice what do I get out of this all I want is ———- hope it works I’ve told several people normally they have success

      ———= what ever you want but just saying animals are a lot of work I have 6 that’s mine w all together have about 72 i feed all of em 1 to 3 is ok though still a lot of work

  10. I really want to customize my laptop but my parents say no as it is still theirs. What should I do because I never get anything. It’s always a “no or maybe” but it never ends up well. I’m in a really tough place and all I want is to put some stickers or somethin on here. Please help me

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      Try putting stickers/customization that has more to do with your parents than you. Maybe something nice about them. After a while, if they are used to you changing things, they would be more willing to let you try out your own things.

      If you plan to ask their permission to customize the laptop, choose the moments well. Wait for a time when they are happy with something you’ve done.

  11. BTW this has helped me a bit. Great use of words. I really understand it. Also I hope everyone here that sees this has an awesome life and have some good luck. Everyone here is amazing

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      Glad to hear this helped you. It’s not so important to get everything you ask for from your parents. More important to learn persuasive skills at an early age. Then use it as you grow older to get things in life (jobs, promotions).

  12. I’m trying to get my parents to let me play a game, I told them I will buy it, but they still said no. The game is rather violent but nothing a haven’t seen. What can I do to let them say yes I’m my situation?

    • (this is the same person who wrote this btw) My parents use this website called commonsensemedia, and it heavily exaggerates what’s in the game in a negative way. They only use this website and don’t even care for a second opinion

      • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
        Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

        The right (sneaky) way to have done this would have been to ask for a more violent game and ask them to look it up on commonsensemedia. After they say no, ask for a mid-violent game. They will likely say no again. Then ask for the game you want. They will be forced to compare it to the most violent game and this would give you your best chance at success.

        Whatever you do, don’t belittle the website they use to check the suitability of the game. Tell them it’s a good site and agree with them. Then you could try pointing them to other rating sites for a second opinion.

      • READ CAREFULLY I think I can help if your still there #1 do you’r chores with no complain #2 have good grades #3 be good for a week sit them down it the living room and ask if it doesn’t go through don’t worry PLAN B READ CAREFULLY you can either be ok never get it or storm off do this at night refuse to eat say Im not hungrey then they should ask you why say I have good grades I do my chores I was nice what do I get out of this all I want is ———- hope it works Ive told sevral pepole normally they have succsess

        ———= what ever you want

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      Bummer that it did not work. Wait for some time to pass and keep trying.

    • READ CAREFULLY I think I can help if your still there #1 do you’r chores with no complain #2 have good grades #3 be good for a week sit them down it the living room and ask if it doesn’t go through don’t worry PLAN B READ CAREFULLY you can either be ok never get it or storm off do this at night refuse to eat say Im not hungrey then they should ask you why say I have good grades I do my chores I was nice what do I get out of this all I want is ———- hope it works Ive told sevral pepole normally they have succsess

      ———= what ever you want

  13. I have really bad anxiety and my mom wants me to go to a camp for a day with some girls my age I don’t know. We were already planning on going to a farmers market to sell my dads art and later a party birthday party but my mom wants me to go to the camp because she says it will help with my anxiety. I know it won’t. I have a really hard time with talking to people I don’t know and they are girls who I don’t know and I can’t really stand how they act. She already trusts the girl who the party is for. How do I convince her that I should go to the party? I’m not talented with words.

    • Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
      Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

      You are already have a convincing talent. You got me to reply so your word ability is just fine. This is a tough one. Try having an authority figure like a counsellor speak to your Mom about this and it could convince her that this approach does not help with anxiety. If the party is very important to you, you can let her know you would be open to situations like the unknown camp girls in the future but that for this occasion, the party is your priority.

  14. Please respond! All I want to do is open a small lemonade stand when COVID-19 is over and by then I will be in my freshman year of highschool probably, but I can’t convince my parents! They are Indian (not native american) and so am I but if they were american they would want me to open a lemonade stand. What should I do to convince them?

    • Opening a lemonade stand costs money and there are safety risks, such as strangers. They are probably saying no for your own safety. Also, buying ingredients costs money, and what about making profit? Maybe think of another way to earn money.
      If you truly want to follow through on this idea, then that is your choice.
      Try to:
      *Prepare and think about (reasonable) answers to address their concerns. Such as not talking to or avoiding strangers or reminding them you know about stranger danger, profits, money and costs, etc.
      *Think of why they said no
      *Be ready to take no for an answer
      *Do all of your assigned tasks, get good grades, don’t ask repeatedly over and over again all at once, give it time.
      Tip: Don’t be overly nice because they will see this and most likely guess that you are going to ask them for something, and if you have asked for this multiple times, guess that you are asking for the same thing
      *Talk to them about it at a good time, such as a time they are not stressed
      *If they say no, act maturely
      *Reason with them and explain the pros, and how they (pros) overcome the cons\

      Try to act maturely throughout the situation, don’t be rude or use a rude tone, be respectful of their opinion and answer and try to remain calm.

  15. I have major anxiety and trouble focusing and want to buy some fidget toys to help but my parents keep refusing when I ask, is there a way I could word it so they will at least think about it, I’m not very good at convincing people or making deals so If you could help that would be great!!!

      • money dont ask for toys ask for money then to take you there and bam or you dont READ CAREFULLY I think I can help if your still there #1 do you’r chores with no complain #2 have good grades #3 be good for a week sit them down it the living room and ask if it doesn’t go through don’t worry PLAN B READ CAREFULLY you can either be ok never get it or storm off do this at night refuse to eat say Im not hungrey then they should ask you why say I have good grades I do my chores I was nice what do I get out of this all I want is ———- hope it works Ive told sevral pepole normally they have succsess

        ———= what ever you want

  16. Hey watch what you look up delete it from your history how push ctrl + h or you’r parent see what you look up and private browsing don’t come up on history that is depends on the device dose not work on school computer (I know) = ctrl+ shift+n

  17. READ CAREFULLY I think I can help if your still there #1 do you’r chores with no complain #2 have good grades #3 be good for a week sit them down it the living room and ask if it doesn’t go through don’t worry PLAN B READ CAREFULLY you can either be ok never get it or storm off do this at night refuse to eat say Im not hungrey then they should ask you why say I have good grades I do my chores I was nice what do I get out of this all I want is ———- hope it works Ive told sevral pepole normally they have succsess

    ———= what ever you want but just saying animals are alot of work I have 6 thats mine w al together have abot 72 i feed all of em 1to 3 is ok though still alot of work

  18. READ CAREFULLY I think I can help if your still there #1 do you’r chores with no complain #2 have good grades #3 be good for a week sit them down it the living room and ask if it doesn’t go through don’t worry PLAN B READ CAREFULLY you can either be ok never get it or storm off do this at night refuse to eat say I’m not hungry then they should ask you why say I have good grades I do my chores I was nice what do I get out of this all I want is ———- hope it works I’ve told several people normally they had success

  19. My parents won’t let me take horse riding lessons, and I know its expensive… but when I tried to compare it to something even bigger they just said “Well that’s not what we’re talking about right now, taking horse lessons is still expensive!” and I agree it is expensive but they just seem to be overprotective, it seems like they know whats best for me but when they are keeping me from what I’ve wanted to do for my entire life it makes me feel like I never ever will be able to ride…

      • READ CAREFULLY I think I can help if your still there #1 do you’r chores with no complain #2 have good grades #3 be good for a week sit them down it the living room and ask if it doesn’t go through don’t worry PLAN B READ CAREFULLY you can either be ok never get it or storm off do this at night refuse to eat say I’m not hungry then they should ask you why say I have good grades I do my chores I was nice what do I get out of this all I want is ———- hope it works I’ve told several people normally they had success

  20. I want to being my Nintendo switch to school because we are having a party thing but they are saying it us too new and someone will steal it or break it. I am very protective over my stuff expressly at school and have never dropped it once. It is tomorrow i can’t stop thinking about how sad I am. Plus people are only using switches. What do I do!?!?

  21. I am dying for a puppy I have made slideshows, tried to ask why not (nothing I could fix really, like I have a cat), Asked in person, an written a letter and nothing worked. I feel like everything will work out but they are the stubbornest parents in the world they think it will be to expensive but I offered to be a dog walker to raise money but of coarse, it had to be a no. Please help!!

  22. personally i would call/visit some horse farms and see if they need help cleaning horses stalls, feeding horses, etc. and offer to help them in exchange for lessons that way it wont be expensive

  23. This is really helpful, thanks. I’m trying to get a 250 USD figure for a fandom that I adore, and is my favorite character. It’s very high quality and is made in China, which will be directly shipped to our house. It comes with an extra thing to confirm the purchase and is available for a limited time. It’s a special order. According to the website the materials used are more expensive so the price is higher than other things. What approach should I take?

  24. Shaun Mendonsa – Editor in chief at Master Influencer | The Art of Persuasion | Things you were not taught in school to influence people and sell your ideas and dreams | Behavioral Sciences | Use ethically & for good |
    Shaun Mendonsa, PhD says:

    Some hours prior to asking, win over some goodwill from them. Either do them a favor (reciprocity). Or start talking about your college plans (even if some years away). You going off to college makes you a limited-time item and will make them more likely to give you stuff now.

    Don’t try to justify the high price by talking about the quality of materials, limited time, etc. Contrast the price with something higher. Perhaps, an item worth $500 that you bring in the conversation before you ask for the fandom figure.

    Think past the sale, act like you already have this item. Tell them what you plan on doing once your get this.

  25. My mom wont let me get an oculus vr headset what can i do? Its really annoying and frustrating because ive been look towards this and i got way to exited before even asking her.

  26. How can I convince my mom to buy me an iPad Air 4th Gen (256GB) or an iPad Pro 2021 (128GB) and apple pencil within a day. I already create a presentation and get good grades, am responsible, participate in family activities, etc. I already have an iPad mini 5, but it has a scratch (from an event that I don’t know how I got it, and I am careful with my devices, none of my devices ever has been damaged), and an incredibly tiny screen. I want to use the iPad to take notes, draw, animations, take with me to write on, watch TV, school, writing, edit PDF files (free version), listen to music, basic tasks, video editing, and all of the basic tasks. My iPad mini 5 has worked fine, but drawing and note taking on it will be difficult, and the apple pencil is expensive, and the knock-off stylus I want to get does not have pressure sensitivity and I want to also work on my Chinese writing. I need a new laptop because my current one (my mom’s old one) is 5 years old and my mom said she would get me a new laptop, and I said it could count as my birthday gift as I like to tie in expensive (or more costly gifts such as $40) gifts as gifts tied to holidays. I always put effort into getting my mom a gift and say thank you. I never ask of a lot and only ask for something when I need it, and if I want something, I buy it with my own money or a gift card I have. My younger sibling always or often asks for things and sometimes gets things, more often than me. She also spends more time with my sibling, and remembers to do something with sibling, and when she talks to me and needs to do something, says she will come back, but never does, and I don’t say anything to be a good child. I understand that because of the pandemic it is tough and understand, but my sibling was like that before. I have an iPhone, but that is because my dad needed one because his cheap phone (not an iPhone) was very bad and found a deal and got my mom’s old iPhone (XS Max with plenty of storage) because he let my mom get the new one, and I got the other one (it was a buy one get one free carrier deal). I want to use the iPad as a laptop and it can probably do that mostly, but I might need a laptop. I will use my iPad mini if she permits me to if I get an iPad unless she wants me to give it to my younger sibling (sibling referring to throughout this), to be a good child. I want a MacBook if I have to get a laptop, but I can’t draw on it and buying a drawing (like connectors with the black drawing) pad will be hard to use, and the laptop itself (13″ MacBook I want), won’t be as portable. What do I do? I want to be good and not ask for it and just get a MacBook and drawing tablet, but I do want an iPad. My iPad mini would not work because a keyboard for it would be incredibly tiny and not convenient. What do I do?

    • Also, I forgot to add: I want to buy a keyboard and screen protector for it, and will purchase the apps and protector, but it can’t cover the iPad and keyboard and Apple Pencil, but can help a little.

      • And, sorry, I also forgot to add that I tell them often (not to get something, but just for them to know), I am thankful for whatever I get and thank them.

  27. SO i want to get a fidget toy because i have ADHD. but my dad says that fidgets are only for people with Autism. But I REALLY want this fidget (its the infinate bubble wrap thingy) but they keep saying im fine without it, but it helps me focus better in school.

    • Hey I have ADHD to and I get fidgets, I’d recommend telling your parents you can’t stop moving around and you’d appreciate a fidget toy. If that doesn’t work try earning money by doing chores around the house. Or try finding a tutorial on YouTube to make your own fidget! -14 year old kid

  28. Hey, I only get to play my Xbox on weekends. How do I get my parents to let me play on weekdays? I’ve tried doing more chores getting good marks but nothing works. How do I get them to let me play on weekdays. Pls and thank you, -14 year old kid.

  29. I’m a kid. But I agree with you. I’m really behind on my school and I don’t/won’t manupulate my parents. they trust me a lot and love me uncondittionally. God bless you. <3

  30. I want a Parakeet and my mom says no because she doesn’t want pets because she’ll end up taking care of it even though she won’t! I told her ill build it a little house for it to walk around in so the house isn’t messy and she still says no! What should I do? And please respond fast.

  31. I have ADHD too and fidget toys are kinda what we need so we don’t go crazy not being able to do something with our fingers lol. Try telling him that ADHD is something that you kinda need something to fidget with at 99% of times

  32. Hey i really wanted a ps5 but. i am really scared my parents will say no because i have a ps4. So it would be a miracle if my parents say yes.

  33. hi, i really want to go to a theme park but my parents said no. it was their idea to go at first but then I asked if my cousin could come with us and they said no. I got really angry and we had a big argument and now they are saying that we won’t go at all. how can I convince them to please let me and my cousin go because I haven’t seen her in over 18 months???

  34. my mom won’t let me be with guy i love because he overstepped a boundary with her and because of past things we did together that weren’ terrible but she didn’t like i dont know how to persuade her to let him in my life again please help

  35. Hey I’m 13 and I’m trying to get my mum to let me keep my grandpa’s old pc but she’s saying no because I’m getting the new switch this year even though my grandpa said he can fund for a new one if I like it. I need tips on getting my mum to say yes to the idea

  36. so hi i wanted an in-game purchase but like a year ago my mom said she doesnt want to use her money in in game purchases, but now im gonna use my own money but i think she might disagree
    how do i convince her to agree? i need to ask her bc i dont have a credit card

  37. I want to go to a convention in around two months with a friend. the convention is out of state, but i can afford my own tickets for the plane and for the convention. i’m 13 years old, but my mom still refuses to let me go with my friend even though we said we’d bring an adult

  38. Hey, I want to study abroad but my dad is a little sceptical. I need advice please.

  39. I am trying to convince my very strict dad to let me have snapchat. I was sneaking it and then he found it. So he made me delete it then he put a screen time app on my phone. I feel like an outcast because all my friends have snapchat and social media. I am a sophomore in high school. Even the kids in 6th grade even kids in 5th grade have snapchat. I cant talk to anyone really because he doesn’t want me to have guys phone numbers and most my friends are guys. So I really need some advice of how to convince my dad to let me get it back. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!

  40. Ok so…….here’s the thing. I found information to sign up to something but it was on the internet and I’m not supposed to know about it. Plus it means I have to be homeschooled but with a class so like here i really want to be a kids bop kid I’m 10 but please help

  41. When I want something that will make my future different, my approach is indirectly make them feel guilty. If I live in California, but I want to study in London, Ill say, “Y’know, I can have more opportunities in London, but I respect you saying no.” That makes them feel good that your not arguing, but makes them feel bad to see you being nice and good even though they said no. That’s my take.

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