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Do you feel you have difficulty getting people to agree with your ideas and proposals? Even when you are sure they will benefit everyone? It’s really not your fault. You’ve been taught the wrong ways to influence. We are covered here and will discover the right approach for winning people over.
You could pay a lot of money to attend a course on how to be influential and make a bigger impact in life. No doubt you’ll be taught some impressive new techniques. But what the seminar Gurus never teach are the easy ways. How can they justify their high fees then?
The key to persuading successfully is to realize that emotions drive decision making, not reasoning. Most of what we are taught mainly uses reasoning to gain influence.
An effective (and honorable) way that you will win influence over people is to dispel their biggest fears. But you need to do it right.
People who are scared are often misunderstood and told, “Don’t be afraid, it’s going to be just fine. You’re worrying over nothing.” Then they walk away and expect the other person to figure things out alone.
When you’ve been told this, has it ever felt reassuring or helped in any way?
The truth is, people don’t want to be told how to feel. What they’d like is for someone to demonstrate that they are willing to walk the mile and bear the load WITH them. Right till the fear is gone. Master persuaders understand this.
Listen to what they have to say about the things that make them afraid. Now is not the time for any judgments or advice. They only want someone to be with them. Your mere presence will allow them to summon the courage to face their fear. They will be in a position now to find a solution (maybe with some help from you at this stage).
With their fear subsided through your support, they will grow to like and trust you more. Once you have this emotional connection with them, they will now gladly listen to things you suggest and follow your lead.
Keep in mind this approach also works with people who are above you in management. Senior managers also have their fears and a yearning for at least a sympathetic ear.
Now watch how you will grow in influence.
You can read more on this topic in Blair Warren’s book below, The One Sentence Persuasion Course – 27 Words to Make the World Do Your Bidding.
Master Persuaders can get others aligned with them even before making a request. That is how real influence works.
If you want to improve your persuasion skills (and calm some of your own fears in this area), these books will help you do exactly that:
Shaun Mendonsa, PhD is an influencing expert and pharmaceutical development leader. He writes on the topics of influence and persuasion, and develops next generation drugs in human pharma by advising international pharmaceutical CROs and CMOs. He can be reached at [email protected].
Influence, Persuasion, Smart Leadership, Career Advice, Blair Warren
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